Meg's not-really-private place to write, write about writing, and link to published work.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Bottom up
I'm not sure about part three of Patrick. Make sure to read the first patrick post with parts one and two before you read three. And then please someone tell me what is happening. Who's Patrick?
Okay—I just hit some random key and completely deleted my original post. Indicative of the day still to be had? Let's hope not.
Regarding Patrick's Surfaces:
I don't know how important it is to know the whole story behind this. I like looking in on this one isolated scene, knowing that there's more to this story, but not being privy to it. It's engaging from the get go. I read the first two lines and felt instantly committed to both characters.
And who Patrick is, well, I'm sure the answer will change with the people you ask. I know who/what I want Patrick to be, but I feel only a little (and I mean this literally: a very, very small amount!) cheated that I don't know what Patrick is to YOU. Or to these two characters. And I don't want you to unfold it, iron out the wrinkles, and then tack it on the wall for me. I just want a hint. The tiniest, most subtlest of hints.
It's interesting that you've kept the gender of the black-cloaked character ambiguous. I'm guessing that you did this intentionally, though, so as to keep the mystery surrounding Patrick exactly that—a mystery. If you make this character a woman, people will instantly assume that Patrick is an ex-lover of this character and a possible ex or current lover of the woman on screen. And then their (the cloaked character and the monitor woman) relationship becomes the mystery. Which is nice, I think, and it's probably where the real story lies if this is the case, if this is the story.
(I also have another idea of who or what Patrick is if these two characters are female, but I'm so good at taking what you write and putting an enormously huge spin on it. So I'll leave it alone.)
If the black-cloaked character is male, then you've got only a little more unpacking to do regarding sexual identities and all of that bullshit. Or not, I guess. You can just let attraction be attraction—done and done—and not get specific.
So I guess my NEW point may be that the question is not who is Patrick, but who are these visible, living, breathing characters. And I think that if you work on them only a little bit more, Patrick's explanation will not really be needed.
Well, see, the thing of it is, I don't know. And, once again, I'm tempted to look at what I wrote (never knowing who patrick is, never knowing the gender of the narrator) and say "That seems cool". But, I suspect that what that is is lazy. Fundamentally, the idea of attraction just being attraction is certainly part of my feeling about this story. But, I also suspect that the narrator is male, and I just can't quite go there, so didn't. I am not sure that it matters, I don't want it to matter, what the gender is of the narrator, but I want to make sure I choose for it not to matter, and don't just not decide out of laziness or lack of courage. Yes, I need to develop the narrator more. At least in my head. I'm not sure more is need about the woman, though. She's probably not even real. :)
I'm quite sure though that it doesn't matter who Patrick is, not for what the story is so far. I wasn't sure how that read though. I'm glad to know that you don't really need to know. I think a little more hint is quite a good idea. I should probably know better who he is, if he is, even if I don't put much more of him in the story.
Thanks, Angela, I love talking about this. I really do feel that these conversations, either about your work, or about mine, are really helping me develop as a writer!
Well, I'm glad someone's developing. I just posted more of that trainwreck in my blog. I'm feeling so apart from it now for some reason, but I just want to wrap it up, so that I can have something—anything—completed. So, in the spirit of "just writing," I am doing exactly that.
3 comments:
Okay—I just hit some random key and completely deleted my original post. Indicative of the day still to be had? Let's hope not.
Regarding Patrick's Surfaces:
I don't know how important it is to know the whole story behind this. I like looking in on this one isolated scene, knowing that there's more to this story, but not being privy to it. It's engaging from the get go. I read the first two lines and felt instantly committed to both characters.
And who Patrick is, well, I'm sure the answer will change with the people you ask. I know who/what I want Patrick to be, but I feel only a little (and I mean this literally: a very, very small amount!) cheated that I don't know what Patrick is to YOU. Or to these two characters. And I don't want you to unfold it, iron out the wrinkles, and then tack it on the wall for me. I just want a hint. The tiniest, most subtlest of hints.
It's interesting that you've kept the gender of the black-cloaked character ambiguous. I'm guessing that you did this intentionally, though, so as to keep the mystery surrounding Patrick exactly that—a mystery. If you make this character a woman, people will instantly assume that Patrick is an ex-lover of this character and a possible ex or current lover of the woman on screen. And then their (the cloaked character and the monitor woman) relationship becomes the mystery. Which is nice, I think, and it's probably where the real story lies if this is the case, if this is the story.
(I also have another idea of who or what Patrick is if these two characters are female, but I'm so good at taking what you write and putting an enormously huge spin on it. So I'll leave it alone.)
If the black-cloaked character is male, then you've got only a little more unpacking to do regarding sexual identities and all of that bullshit. Or not, I guess. You can just let attraction be attraction—done and done—and not get specific.
So I guess my NEW point may be that the question is not who is Patrick, but who are these visible, living, breathing characters. And I think that if you work on them only a little bit more, Patrick's explanation will not really be needed.
Voila!
Well, see, the thing of it is, I don't know. And, once again, I'm tempted to look at what I wrote (never knowing who patrick is, never knowing the gender of the narrator) and say "That seems cool". But, I suspect that what that is is lazy. Fundamentally, the idea of attraction just being attraction is certainly part of my feeling about this story. But, I also suspect that the narrator is male, and I just can't quite go there, so didn't. I am not sure that it matters, I don't want it to matter, what the gender is of the narrator, but I want to make sure I choose for it not to matter, and don't just not decide out of laziness or lack of courage. Yes, I need to develop the narrator more. At least in my head. I'm not sure more is need about the woman, though. She's probably not even real. :)
I'm quite sure though that it doesn't matter who Patrick is, not for what the story is so far. I wasn't sure how that read though. I'm glad to know that you don't really need to know. I think a little more hint is quite a good idea. I should probably know better who he is, if he is, even if I don't put much more of him in the story.
Thanks, Angela, I love talking about this. I really do feel that these conversations, either about your work, or about mine, are really helping me develop as a writer!
Well, I'm glad someone's developing. I just posted more of that trainwreck in my blog. I'm feeling so apart from it now for some reason, but I just want to wrap it up, so that I can have something—anything—completed. So, in the spirit of "just writing," I am doing exactly that.
Which I guess for me is development.
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